I Just Burped Garlic Into My Mask

That’s a sentence I never imagined myself saying. But, damn, the bread at that little restaurant in Galena was off-the-freakin’-chart delicious!

What a weird world we’re in.

It’s hard to think of any aspect of life that COVID hasn’t made just a little suckier.

Yes, there I go, one of those people whining about some trivial inconvenience while people are dying. Which just proves my point.

I, myself, am a little suckier here in 2020. Apologies to all for my crass, thoughtless, callous, self-indulgent complaining (except you, coronavirus—you can go f**k yourself).

Wouldn’t it be lovely if I could say some super noble thing about what’s happening on the planet right now? Something that would reveal my amazing human compassion, my deep insight into pandemics and the sociopolitical truths behind the paralyzing media infodump coming at us from every corner, from every angle.

Yep, I really want you to believe that I know which news source is telling you the truth and which power monger, which asshole politician, has “no agenda but the truth.” (AS IF!)

As it turns out, I can actually do something sort of like that.

Because I have recently deployed a small army of omnipresent, invisible, undetectable, stealth drones that, even now, are hovering about the hallways, toilet stalls, secret rooms, and torture chambers of global power.

That’s right. I know what’s being said by people who don’t want you to know what they’re saying.

Of course, I can’t give you specifics. Or else they’d kill me. Duh. I’m not stupid. I don’t wanna be the next f****ng Alexei Navalny, dude. Not at all.

What I can tell you, is that people in positions of influence are consistently saying a few kinds of things.

1. Things they think are the truth but aren’t because their source is shit.
2. Things they know are lies but they want you to believe are true because it serves their narrative which they hope enhances their chance to implement their self-centered, power-and-greed motivated agenda.
3. Things that are partial truths with certain critical details presented very selectively, other details embellished, and yet further details omitted entirely. Because such careful revision of information (this may sound familiar) serves their narrative which they hope enhances their chance to implement their self-centered, power-and-greed motivated agenda.

Sure, somewhere (no one knows where) someone is telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. But how would we recognize it? Who are we counting on to do the fact-checking? CNN? FOX news?

I want to believe my government cares about my well-being. I want to believe it is informing me out of its great reverence for human life.

Then I think about how my government has behaved throughout human history. Not just my government, but pretty much all governments. And institutions. Judicial. Military. Religious and secular. Conservative and liberal. Left and right. All of them doing things and saying things that serve their narrative which they hope enhances their chance to implement their self-centered, power-and-greed motivated agenda.

This is what they do. This is The Machine.

Some people in The Machine are well-intentioned. Some of them believe they are speaking the truth. Some of them are really trying to do good things.

Not too fucking many.

But some.

I’d let you know who they were but … well, you know what would happen.

Truth tellers are an endangered species. They don’t generally run for any public office. They’re usually outcasts.

Sometimes they’re executed.

Other than that, I’m fine.

How are you doing?