Hey Dad,
Eighty-nine years. That’s a good, long time.
Enough time for one World War to end and another to begin (you may remember that second one—you fought in it). Thank God, that war ended too. Other wars followed. Walls went up and came down. Sixteen Presidents came and went. Human history wrote itself in the perilous, haphazard way it seems to; demonstrating again and again that the good and the bad we’re capable of is a curious and maddening puzzle reason has yet to resolve.
During those eighty-nine years, Dad, you lived your life. You’re not done with it yet, by any means, but let’s agree that whatever mid-life crises you may have endured have been in the rearview mirror long enough now that you probably couldn’t see them even with your best pair of cheaters on. (That’s me teasing you about being old, I think I’m allowed at this point.)
This stage in life surely lends itself to looking back and considering the past, asking yourself questions about all that has lead you to this moment. The kinds of questions we would all ask.
Has it been mostly good? Have I been more happy than sad? Can I call myself successful? What has my life meant to me and to others?
There are some things that only you can see and feel. There are some questions only you can answer. But the question of what your life has meant to others—well, let me take a stab at that one.
Dad—you’ve been (and are) a good man. Not a perfect man but a good man. You may think that’s a small thing. But I promise you it isn’t. You may think no one noticed. I guarantee you—they did.
All those years ago your goodness dazzled a pretty girl from Missouri. She fell for your wit and your charm, your smile and your laugh. She fell in love with your eyes as they sparkled with love for her and just a hint of benign mischief.
Your goodness rubbed off on your sons. How do you think they became diplomats? Why do you think they laugh so readily and prefer to be peace-bringers? Where did you think they got their charm and wit and sense of humor?
Growing up our friends always said, “Man, you’re dad is great.” Guess what? They still say it. (They were right then and they’re right now.)
I know there have been many, many in the church community you have touched over the years, in big and small ways. If they lined up to testify it’d take some serious time.
I remember salesmen that you treated like sons and I could see in their faces how highly they regarded you.
To family and friends, co-workers and clients, neighbors, folks you brushed up against at the store or the bank, even total strangers…time after time you generously shared with them your good nature and your kindness. So very many people have had their day brightened by a simple smile or silly joke you’ve offered…your supply seems endless.
I remember right after your heart surgery—I was visiting you in the hospital, trying not to cry because you looked so pale and fragile. And there you were—telling jokes from under the oxygen mask trying to cheer me up. That’s so you, Dad!
As a soldier, a salesman, a son, a brother, a husband, a father, and a citizen of the world, you’ve been (and are) a good and gentle spirit with a kind and warm heart. Countless times you’ve enlivened your surroundings with that lovely, contagious laughter of yours. A laugh I will remember and recall with deep affection for as long as I live. I smiled just now, hearing it in my mind.
Never doubt Dad—not for a single second—that who you are means a whole lot to a whole lot of people. You have loved well and are loved by many for that reason.
A good man who loved well. That’s a pretty good legacy, I’d say. I’m not sure I know of a better one.
Thanks, Dad, for all you are and all you mean to all who love you.
Oh yeah—and Happy Birthday!
Love,
Jim
